A can of ASPARAGUS, 73 pigeons, some LIVE ammo, and a FROZEN DAQUIRI!!% A dwarf is passing out somewhere in Detroit!% A GRAM?? Wash theROOM!!%.A housewife is wearing a polypyrene jumpsuit!!% A shapely CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL is FIDGETING inside my costume.% A wide-eyed, innocent UNICORN, poised delicately in a MEADOW filled with LILACS, LOLLIPOPS & small CHILDREN at the HUSH of twilight??% Actually, what I'd like is a little toy spaceship!!% After this, I'm going to BURN some RUBBER!!% After THIS, let's go to PHILADELPHIA and have TRIPLETS!!% AIEEEEE! I am having an UNDULATING EXPERIENCE!% ALFRED JARRY! Say something about th' DEATH of DISCO!!% All I can think of is a platter of organic PRUNE CRISPS being trampled by an army of swarthy, Italian LOUNGE SINGERS.% All of a sudden, I want to THROW OVER my promising ACTING CAREER, grow a LONG BLACK BEARD and wear a BASEBALL HAT!! Although I don't know WHY!!% All of life is a blur of Republicans and meat!% All right, you degenerates! I want this place evacuated in 20 seconds!% All this time I've been VIEWING a RUSSIAN MIDGET SODOMIZE a HOUSECAT!% Alright, you!!
Imitate a WOUNDED SEAL pleading for a PARKING SPACE!!% Am I accompanied by a PARENT or GUARDIAN?% Am I elected yet?%.Am I in a SOAP OPERA??% Am I in GRADUATE SCHOOL yet?% Am I SHOPLIFTING?% America!! I saw it all!! JERRY FALWELLING into your void tube of UHF oblivion!! SAFEWAY of the mind --% An air of FRENCH FRIES permeates my nostrils!!% An INK-LING? Sure -- TAKE one!!
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Did you BUY any COMMUNIST UNIFORMS??% An Italian is COMBING his hair in suburban DES MOINES!% And furthermore, my bowling average is unimpeachable!!!% ANN JILLIAN'S HAIR makes LONI ANDERSON'S HAIR look like RICARDO MONTALBAN'S HAIR!% Are BOTH T.V.S on??%. Are the STEWED PRUNES still in the HAIR DRYER?%.Are we having FUN yet.?% Are we live or on tape?% Are we on STRIKE yet?% Are we THERE yet?% Are we THERE yet? My MIND is a SUBMARINE!!% Are we THERE yet?!% Are we THERE yet??% Are you guys lined up for the METHADONE PROGRAM or FOOD STAMPS?? Are you mentally here at Pizza Hut??% Are you selling NYLON OIL WELLS?? If so, we can use TWO DOZEN!!% Are you still an ALCOHOLIC?% Are you still SEXUALLY ACTIVE?
Did you BRING th' REINFORCEMENTS?% As a FAD follower, my BEVERAGE choices are rich and fulfilling!% As President I have to go vacuum my coin collection!% Ask me the DIFFERENCE between PHIL SoILVERS and ALEXANDER HAIG!!% Awright, which one of you hid my PENIS ENVY?% Bagels.% BARBARA STANWYCK makes me nervous!!% Barbie says, Take quaaludes in gin and go to a disco right away! But Ken says, WOO-WOO!! No credit at ``Mr. Liquor'!!% BARRY. That was the most HEART-WARMING rendition of ``I DID IT MY WAY' I've ever heard!!% BEEP-BEEP!! I'm a '49 STUDEBAKER!!% Being a BALD HERO is almost as FESTIVE as a TATTOOED KNOCKWURST.% BELA LUGOSI is my co-pilot.% BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-%. Blame it on the BOSSA NOVA!!!%.
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Plastic forks.% Bo Derek ruined my life!% Boy, am I glad it's only 1971.% Boys, you have ALL been selected to LEAVE th' PLANET in 15 minutes!!% BRILL CREAM is CREAM O' WHEAT in another DIMENSION.% But was he mature enough last night at the lesbian masquerade?% By MEER biz doo SCHOIN.% C'MON, everybody!! I've flown in LESLIE GORE and two dozen KOSHER BUTCHERS! They'll be doing intricate MILITARY MANEUVERS to the soundtrack from 'OKLAHOMA'!!% CALIFORNIA is where people from IOWA or NEW YORK go to subscribe to CABLE TELEVISION!!% Can I have an IMPULSE ITEM instead?% Can you MAIL a BEAN CAKE?% Catsup and Mustard all over the place! It's the Human Hamburger!% CHUBBY CHECKER just had a CHICKEN SANDWICH in downtown DULUTH!% CHUBBY CHECKER owns my BUILDING!% Civilization is fun! Anyway, it keeps me busy!!% Clear the laundromat!! This whirl-o-matic just had a nuclear meltdown!!% Concentrate on th'cute, li'l CARTOON GUYS! Remember the SERIAL NUMBERS!!